The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read
The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read
Highlights
- I told her, whatever age your child is, they are liable to remind you, on a bodily level, of the emotions you went through when you were at a similar stage. (Location 415)
- This feeling of wanting to push children away, of wanting them to sleep long and to play independently before they are ready so they don’t take up your time, can come about when you’re trying not to feel with your child because they’re such a painful reminder of your childhood. Because of this, you’re unable to surrender to their needs. (Location 434)
- Even if you live apart from your child’s other parent, what matters is that you refer to them in respectful ways, that you can appreciate their good points and not always be emphasizing their faults. (Location 582)
- If one half of the partnership that brought them into being is often referred to as somehow being a ‘bad’ person, that is all too often internalized by the child so that they too see themselves as a ‘bad’ person. (Location 585)
- This is a truth that should be universally acknowledged: when you try to block out a ‘negative’ feeling, you remove positive feelings too. As therapist Jerry Hyde says, ‘Emotions don’t have a mixing board – they just have a master volume. You can’t fade out sadness and pain and fade up happiness and joy. You turn one down, they all go down.’ (Location 1126)
The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read
Highlights
- I told her, whatever age your child is, they are liable to remind you, on a bodily level, of the emotions you went through when you were at a similar stage. (Location 415)
- This feeling of wanting to push children away, of wanting them to sleep long and to play independently before they are ready so they don’t take up your time, can come about when you’re trying not to feel with your child because they’re such a painful reminder of your childhood. Because of this, you’re unable to surrender to their needs. (Location 434)
- Even if you live apart from your child’s other parent, what matters is that you refer to them in respectful ways, that you can appreciate their good points and not always be emphasizing their faults. (Location 582)
- If one half of the partnership that brought them into being is often referred to as somehow being a ‘bad’ person, that is all too often internalized by the child so that they too see themselves as a ‘bad’ person. (Location 585)
- This is a truth that should be universally acknowledged: when you try to block out a ‘negative’ feeling, you remove positive feelings too. As therapist Jerry Hyde says, ‘Emotions don’t have a mixing board – they just have a master volume. You can’t fade out sadness and pain and fade up happiness and joy. You turn one down, they all go down.’ (Location 1126)